Love Hurts
by Cosifantutte
Summary: Sometimes missions go awry, and you get to improvise. But what to do if your only ally is forced to turn against you?  Entry for the Winter Fest Round at Livejournal.


**Disclaimer:** Of course I do not own Naruto, or any of the characters at that. I wish! But since it's probably obvious I'm not Kishimoto-san, please don't ask me for rights and rules on this, I'm not making any money with this text!

**A/N:** This was my entry for the Winter Fest Round 2011 over at Livejournal for Ryals-Shoal. It was quite a tough thing to get out of my mind after the plot bunnies assaulted me for the first time, and since my recipient asked for a mission going awry that would send either Kakashi or Iruka into a severe identity crisis including lots of character development, I did my best to use it all in a relatively short text. My biggest thanks go to M for putting up with my whining and worries, and for supporting me with both the text and my personal issues along the line!  
>Whether I managed to put up a convincing picture of a person's struggling against themselves and their environment, you may or may not judge by reading this. Reviews are highly appreciated!<p>

**Warnings:** violence, blood, angst. If you can't deal with either of those, or with a relationship between two male characters, now is your time to leave. *winks*

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_Drip. Drip. Drip._

A single rivulet of what seemed to be the remains of the earlier downpour made its way down the raw stone wall, trickled along a rather sharp edge of dark rock, overgrown with moss and lichens, and seeped into the narrow gaps at the very bottom of the rough surface.

Gloved fingers, emitting a pale glow in the darkness, traced along the seemingly flawless floor of the cave, carefully, so as not to obscure possible trails that were likely to be found sometime soon.

They had spent four days and nights hunting the enemy, three of which had led the three man squad through marshy landscape and heavy rainfalls until they all could not tell skin from cloth or hair from scalp. Soaked from head to toe, their way had finally lead them into one of the bear's dens that were, in fact, rather common throughout Sound. This one, however, had caught their attention with its lack of tracks.

Although possible- everything was possible when it came to the different mannerisms of the creatures populating the countries outside Konoha's borders -, it was unlikely that a large mammal like a bear could inhabit such a cave without leaving even the slightest of traces. They had found stray tufts of fur, stuck in the cracks along the wall of the den, but from the lack of reek thereon it was only logical that the bear was long gone, but winter had only just left the country.

A second hand was set beside the first, skin darker and not covered in shielding metal plates. It traced a long crack along the close southern wall, emitting waves of soft blue light and forcing it into the chink to check for possible hidden passageways.

Nothing. Again.

This was getting frustrating, even for usually patient warriors.

A quiet huff filled the cave as another portion of chakra was emitted cautiously. The faint glow of more chakra allowed the men to see, which was necessary for their work, and it was only when an agitated hiss left one of the men's lips that the others realized something was off.

The rumble of rock meeting rock, very quiet at first, but growing louder and more recognizable by the minute, had the other two shinobi on edge in the blink of an eye. Calloused fingers sank into darkness once again, a gloved hand was pressed into a bare palm softly, and all three of them listened to the rapping just outside the den's entrance grow louder at first until it receded with growing distance. Dark blue eyes, lit with both fear and anger alike, hit warm brown, half closed ones.

"You sent that rock flying over the edge?"

A single grey eye joined the incredulous stare of the blue, lacking its canon boredom completely. A sheepish nod was not seen but heard as a quiet rustle when hair brushed against a thick collar, and the first man turned about with an exasperated sigh.

"Whoever assigned you to our team must have been utterly drunk. Oh wait, that's not even unlikely in this case."

"Asato, that's enough. He made a mistake, but your voice is not any less an indicator to our current whereabouts. They may have noticed us by now, but we're safe as long as they don't find us. Quiet, now." A second voice interrupted.

The first man's eyes narrowed in unspoken discontent, but there were no more word from Asato. The team leader's word was law.

It was only when the trio made its way past the entrance that they all realized their mistake. It took them a quick leap to dodge a bunch of shuriken flying their way, before they moved about hastily to speed off in different directions, each of them with several enemies on their tail.

They had been found out.

However, one more thing was certain: the information about a secret hideout in the mountains must have been right.

Iruka was running for his life.

One of the enemy ninja was stuck in one of multiple traps he had set up on their way around the area beforehand, but there were still three others on his tail, catching up with him, and he felt his breath hitch in surprise as he heard a kunai miss his left ear by millimeters. They were quick.

He was sidestepping like a fleeing rabbit, dodging missiles as well as protruding branches and sending kunai that he had tied exploding tags to over his shoulder in the process.

The thought of Kakashi crossed his mind as he leaped up onto higher ground to press his advantage, and a faint smile ghosted over his lips.

Kakashi.

It was very unlikely that the man had as much trouble as he had, outrunning the enemies until he could use a rather fortunate moment to separate them and end the chase in only a few quick moves. No need to worry about him, Iruka chided himself. He should try to cover some ground for his own good, however. It had been his fault they were found out in the first place, and he didn't intend to make things any worse by failing to defend himself.

Tsunade had not been pleased with the thought of sending him out at all, let alone Kakashi and Iruka together, but the matter was fairly urgent. A recently captured enemy ninja had broken under Ibiki's treatment and come out with pieces of information that seemed rather unsettling. Orochimaru was hiding out in a cave of western Sound, he said, advancing his genetical studies by experimenting with adults and children alike.

Without much of a choice, Tsunade had decided to immediately react to this growing danger. Most of her more experienced teams had been out on field duty; the village was still suffering from the damage Orochimaru's last assault had caused.

So it had been down to Kakashi and Asato, a rather snooty jounin Kakashi was obviously not very fond of but apparently didn't bother going up front against, to set up a team for the upcoming trip to Sound. It had been Kakashi, who had suggested Iruka as a third party member. The academy had been lost to devastation when Orochimaru's snakes attacked the village a while ago; classes were still being held rather infrequently, and although the children would miss their favorite sensei, the matter of impending danger was more pressing. Iruka had never objected, even though he didn't like leaving his position as a caregiver for the orphaned children in his classes.

This was his village he was fighting for.

Even now, however, he couldn't deny the issues Tsunade had discussed with him just before their departure from Leaf. He was not the field type of ninja, she had said, too softhearted, too vulnerable, and in addition to that, a threat to Kakashi. Whoever found out about the actual relationship between the two of them would very likely use it to their advantage, trying to pit them against each other. It was both a support and a weakness for them, and to maintain the balancing act was a rather difficult task.

In reality, as much as Iruka forced himself to concentrate on the task at hand, namely get rid of the enemy and simultaneously survive, his heart still ached when his thoughts drifted to his lover, probably running like him, fighting like him, to meet one another unharmed in the end of it all. Or that was what Iruka kept hoping for.

Asato was furious. He was running up a steep wall of one of the smaller hills, roughly wiping the blood off his kunai.

What was that chuunin good for, if he could not even manage to remain undetected? Why would anyone send out an academy teacher, who had merely done some B and C ranks on occasion in the first place?

And what was it about the infamous copy ninja and this boring wannabe-shinobi? Rumors had been going about for months that the two of them were making out but Asato had never really wanted to believe them. Only when he had seen them interact with one another did the jounin really understand what it was people were so curious about.

Sharingan no Kakashi was a living legend, feared by many, admired by all, nonchalant and indifferent towards anyone. Anyone but Iruka.

Asato's mind had refused to acknowledge the presence of the infamous copy ninja at first when he had entered the Hokage's office that day and seen the two men standing beside each other. They had not even been holding hands, nor did they flirt by any means. It was the simple, but impressive feeling of two beings revolving around one another. The way Kakashi's slouched form shifted slightly towards the chuunin whenever he moved; the shy but obviously affectionate glances Iruka shot the other man while looking around the room rather randomly. Even when they talked the plans for the upcoming mission through, it had not slipped Asato's attention how Kakashi's one-eyed look of boredom lit up into an adoring smile whenever Iruka stepped in to correct a possible miscalculation and state his opinion in a futile attempt to be of some use to the team.

Asato didn't like the chuunin, didn't like him at all, and he downright despised what he did to Kakashi. The man was one of Konoha's figureheads, meant to represent the village and its ambitions, and he had been one of its deadliest weapons for close to two centuries now. How could he let himself be tamed and rendered useless by a school teacher?

Fuming with anger and exasperation, the blue-eyed jounin dashed across a flat plain and climbed one of the erratic boulders blocking his sight, carefully ducking behind the rock as agitated yells reached his ear.

It only took Asato a second's time to comprehend the scene he was watching: Iruka had been cornered by his two remaining pursuers who now kept advancing towards him. The chuunin seemed rather helpless- as always, Asato mused-, but kept fighting the men off with all of his might. A thin line on the ground, barely visible against the rough stone, indicated where Iruka must have placed his traps, but the attackers didn't seem aware of them just yet.

Similar to a one-sided boxing match, the offenders kept lashing out at their opponent, while the chuunin dodged and blocked their hits with growing exhaustion, retreating slowly over the line on the ground while emitting the slightest hint of chakra through his soles, Asato realized. Not too stupid. The attackers might fall for the trick and step right into the trap.

The enemy shinobi, however, didn't seem as oblivious to the chuunin's plot as Asato and even Iruka might have thought. When their feet came close to activating whatever traps had been set up, they leaped straight at Iruka, who was obviously taken aback- he must have hoped for them to be rendered immobilized before they could come at him again.

It was a decision to be made in the blink of an eye, and although Asato didn't sympathize with the teacher at all, he never once wavered. A strong push of his legs carried him over the boulder and to Iruka's side. If the chuunin was surprised to see him, it didn't show. Instead, a flash in his chakra was the only sign his opponents got to feel before a massive amount of water came rushing down on them. Asato would have wondered how the teacher managed to summon such large ninjutsu, as exhausted as he had seemed only seconds ago, but he didn't bother asking. The matter at hand was far more urgent.

The fight flaring up in the following minutes kept all four participants on their toes, and Asato realized too late that he had underestimated both Iruka and his adversaries. He had deliberately assumed their level must be the same as those that attacked him, but he had been way off the mark. It took the two Konoha shinobi a lot of concentration and cooperation to checkmate the first of their foes, but neither of them had expected the second one's actions.

A flash of mad laughter was the only sign they got before the ground blew up below their feet, ripped apart by a monstrous earth element technique. A startled yelp from Iruka's direction drew Asato's attention to the chuunin, whose right leg had been caught between two of the rock slabs that were now breaking apart. He quickly leapt to his teammate's side, gripping his shoulders in a futile attempt to help him out.

It was Iruka's outcry that made Asato spin around, losing his grip on the chuunin once more, and all he could see was red as he was sent flying across the devastated plain and into one of the larger pieces of rock. His face felt like it had been smashed into pieces, his heart was hammering painfully against his ribcage, and the jounin didn't even bother trying to find out what had happened. Broken bones protested against his movement, as he got to his feet, swaying dangerously, and fixed his eyes on the opponent that had used his moment of carelessness to land a fatal hit.

Asato tasted blood. He knew that at least some of his ribs had shattered, and Iruka was still stuck in the ground, forcing massive amounts of his chakra into the rock around his leg to try and break free.

What chances did they have against a superior opponent?

A flash of silver against the dark stone caught Asato's attention, and he smiled dryly to himself as he fixed his eyes on the enemy once again. Kakashi. There was the chance they needed.

Taking a quick breath, the jounin braced himself for some more strain, blocking out the pain for the last offense, and launched himself at the still grinning enemy. At an equal distance, the copy nin sprang into action. The Sound shinobi's grin didn't falter as he took Asato's katana to the chest, nor did he try to dodge Kakashi's glowing fist that slammed right into his lower back.

A low cackle from the other side of the plain drew both men's attention back to Iruka, and Asato felt Kakashi go stiff at his side. The moment the falling corpse of their opponent should have hit the ground, a distinct puff of smoke signaled their failure.

At the same time, Iruka cried out in pain as the real enemy embedded a long kukri into his hand, rendering it as useless as his right leg, which was still stuck fast in the deep crevice. Kakashi's form twitched nervously, but the jounin seemed rather clueless as to how to help his lover or concentrate on the mission at hand, which he may have forgotten by now.

Asato bit back a noisy spate of cuss words for the sake of his breath that was starting to run short anyway, his mind whirling with the desperation of a man that doesn't know how to react anymore. He was growing weaker, Kakashi was rather open to the enemy's influence, for they had once more laid their hands on Iruka, and the chuunin was still about to break right through the ground, unable to escape his predicament, held by the blade through his hand and the tight pressure of the rock slabs only.

The decision was taken from him by the enemy striking out for Iruka's head this time, and Asato found himself storming ahead with a sudden rush of adrenaline in his veins. Sending a shuriken ahead to distract the enemy from his chosen victim, Asato dodged a bunch of rocks that came flying his way and started circling the man until he could find a possible opening in his opponent's defense. There was a warning yell that Asato identified as Kakashi's voice before a numbing pain shot through the jounin's back, spreading down his spine from between his shoulder blades, and he knew he had lost. The enemy had been faster.

Asato dropped to the ground face first, smashing into the dust, the pain almost too much to bear, and he choked on a stream of blood rushing up his throat. He could hear the sudden chirp of chakra, right above his head, but couldn't manage to roll over. Asato felt like passing out, his vision going blurrier by the minute, and his breath hitching more and more. The smell of burnt flesh made him want to throw up all over the place, but when steady hands grasped his shoulders to roll him onto his back, he realized that what caused the stink had been Kakashi's chidori striking the enemy's chest, ending what he had failed to do. A single grey eye, clouded with regret, met his look. He let out a painful cough, body going entirely numb.

"You never wavered, did you? You were waiting for the-" he coughed against the pressure of more blood filling his throat "- for the right moment."

Kakashi's forehead showed creases that had nothing to do with his age as he nodded. Fingers were pressed against Asato's neck, and the copy nin's mask twitched in an invisible grimace.

"There's nothing we can do for you now" Kakashi's low voice barely reached Asato's ear, and the jounin inclined his head in understanding. He had known he was done for the moment his legs had gone numb. It was only a matter of time now until his body would give in to the welcoming darkness.

A low sob next to his waist made Asato raise his head one last time, and his lips quirked up in a pained smile.

"So he saved you, after all." The jounin swallowed heavily. "No need to cry for me, stupid. A ninja doesn't show his feelings. Serves me right, for not being able to do what I had to in the end."

The sobbing didn't recede; instead, there were warm fingers, sticky with what must be Iruka's blood, worming their way into Asato's palm. The man let out an exasperated laugh, halted by a painful cough.

"Stop crying already" he insisted, and when Iruka answered his request with a tight squeeze of his fingers, the jounin let his eyes drift shut. His life would end here, but at least his companions would be safe for now. That was more than most shinobi could wish for when their time came.

He wouldn't lose himself to regrets, but would be grateful for the way of his passing and hope for the rest of his team to get out of the country safely.

"But I'm the one to blame, so it is my responsibility to go and make up for it all! You can't do this all on your own, nor do you have to. There was a reason to assign me on this mission, and I intend to do what I can to settle this debt. And for heaven's sake, stop babying me!" Iruka's agitated voice had risen to something close to a yell, which didn't seem to intimidate his opponent in the slightest.

Kakashi's one visible eye was cold and hard as stone, his hands casually folded in his lap.

"We both know that the sole reason for you to be present on this mission is Tsunade's lack of suitable fighters. You should be at home, teaching, doing paperwork. This is not what you're made for, and the past series of events was more than enough proof of that fact." he replied in an icy manner, his glare never once changing its obvious target.

Iruka felt cold ire rise in his throat. He had made a horrible mistake, yes, and he was ready to account for it. Kakashi, however, seemed rather focused on making him feel like an utter fool, useless and a danger to everyone around him.

What made him choke on his anger, however, was not that Kakashi didn't want to let him put his idea into action. What really made Iruka fume in silent rage was Kakashi's subsequent refusal to believe in his lover's ability to be of any use in what was yet to come.

Both of them agreed that abandoning the mission was out of the question, despite the unexpected loss of their third team member. Whatever Orochimaru was trying to achieve, the assault on their squad was all the evidence they had needed. Now that it was clear there had to be a hideout somewhere nearby, neither of the two men was willing to retreat.

Quite the contrary, in fact.

Iruka, patched up by Kakashi right after they had finished burying Asato, was intent on infiltrating the enemy's base to strike in their center. Kakashi, in the meantime, seemed particularly keen to keep him from running into any more danger, and it made Iruka furious to the bone to see the lack of trust in his partner.

Yes, he had made a stupid mistake.

Yes, he had caused a companion's death by blowing their cover accidentally.

And yes, he had put their whole mission at risk by doing so.

But it was not like he had iwanted/i to kick that rock down the cliff! It was not like he had iwanted/i Asato to die fori his sake/i! In fact, Iruka would have preferred dying in his place to feeling the guilt of being the one to blame for someone's death. He had always tried to refrain from taking people's lives, no matter how hard the circumstances, but this time he had not been able to prevent a teammate from dying, and this knowledge was preying on his conscience.

"Kakashi, please." Iruka tried to reason, quietly, carefully keeping the lid on his still bubbling anger.

Kakashi's words had stung, still did, and Iruka didn't quite know how to deal with his lover's sudden irritability. It was rather upsetting. "I know this was all my fault, but I can't undo it, or else I would. We will have to deal with the situation as it is, and I'm telling you this will be the easiest way to advance to their very core."

Kakashi shrugged off his request with a quick shake of his head.

"Not a chance. You can't do this alone, and I will not let you."

A low hiss slipped past Iruka's lips as he leaned forward to press his finger against Kakashi's chest angrily.

"Listen to me closely, right now, because I will not say this again." He was still aware of the fact that he was technically threatening his team leader, but he couldn't bring himself to care. ""If you imagine yourself in my place and me in Asato's place, what do you think you would want to do? Retreat and run like a scaredy cat, without carrying out your mission, only to return in shame and misery, or try to strike when the enemy does not expect you anymore and maybe protect your village once more while soothing your conscience?"

Iruka fell silent and shot a sharp glance Kakashi's way while pulling back slowly. He seated himself on a rotten tree stump.

It was oddly satisfying to watch his lover shrink back slowly while his visible eye got darker by the minute. Something that looked a lot like compassion showed on the jounin's masked features, and Iruka's lips twitched with silent content. He didn't want his lover to suffer, certainly not, but it was necessary for Kakashi to be able to relate to Iruka's position. And apparently he could.

A light shudder ran through the copy ninja's slouched form while his eye drifted shut, and he let out a clearly weary sigh.

"You're right. This may be our best chance to get through." he finally admitted through gritted teeth, and Iruka nodded in grim satisfaction. "However, I will come along. You slip into the role of whichever dead person you like, as you intended to. I will be your captive."

Iruka's eyes widened as he considered that. Naturally, he had hoped for Kakashi's approval in the end. To take his lover with him into the lion's den, and as a captive at that, had never been his intention.

"But-" he tried to object, but was silenced by a firm kiss of covered lips against his.

"Don't you even try to make me stay out of this. How could I watch you on your road to ruin? I'm going to provide an alibi so no one will doubt your intentions." Kakashi's tone was desperate, but he seemed intent on doing as he pleased.

Iruka rose to voice his concern regarding Kakashi's treatment if he was to play a prisoner, but was once again interrupted by his lover's lips claiming his mouth. For a second, Iruka was tempted to draw back and scold Kakashi for being so brash, but he didn't really mind the intrusiveness in that moment at all.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Iruka's voice was shaking ever so slightly, betraying both his insecurity and his excitement.

He was nervous and not too sure about the ingenuity of his idea anymore.

What if something went wrong?

What if he made a mistake again?

What if he put Kakashi in danger, after all? The role of a captive wasn't something to be taken lightly.

Iruka didn't want to think about how he could deal with it if Kakashi was taken from him forever. He didn't think he'd be able to.

So what if-

"Iruka" Kakashi's fingertips were chilly against Iruka's cheek, his voice deep and soothing. "I'm not sure how everything will work out, but we will try. I want you to relax now, alright? Play your part and stop worrying, it will interfere with the mission."

A pang of something Iruka couldn't quite place made him press into the touch of lover's hand, longing for more. He was scared, he realized, of not being able to get this kind of affection for a long time.

Depending on how this mission went, he might or might not get to see Kakashi, and neither of them could tell in what condition they would meet again.

Silently, Iruka closed his own fingers around Kakashi's, drawing the man's hand closer to his face, and leaned into the touch, eyes closing. He didn't want to take his own lover captive, didn't want to put him at risk. But he knew how fragile their current state of peace was, and he couldn't bring himself to deny that fact.

This mission must be fulfilled, no matter the risks.

"Okay" the brunette answered slowly, after he had relished in their togetherness one last time, and pulled back from his lover. Iruka had retrieved the enemy's clothing before, to make sure his disguise was flawless, and because nobody could guarantee he would not run out of chakra if he had to maintain a permanent henge. Now he shifted his weight uncomfortably while drawing the black hood of his newly obtained cape over his head. "Let's do this."

Kakashi's feet were scraping over the ground, toes hitting against loose rock and slipping on wet matter, the origin of which he did not want to know. He was freezing, teeth chattering violently in the frigid air. It was cold. Really, really cold.

They had stripped him of his vest and pants, leaving him barefooted and in his plain blue underwear.

His hair was dripping wet, falling into his uncovered right eye and weighing his head down while he was dragged through the stony alleyway that lead further into the hideout, or so he thought.

They didn't tell him anything but the fact that their master would be really pleased. In fact, that seemed to be their sole purpose: to please the master. For that purpose, the infamous copy nin was now lead to his temporary prison before the master himself would decide what to do with their legendary _guest_. It had been hilariously easy to enter the hideout, none of the enemy nin they had encountered so far had questioned Iruka's identity, they had all taken him as a companion of their own and turned their attention on the way more interesting target: Sharingan no Kakashi, rendered helpless through chakra cuffs and delivered to them on a proverbial silver plate.

"Come on now, the master will not be pleased if he finds his latest guest in an inappropriate condition!" A sadistic chuckle behind his ear made Kakashi's eye drift shut for a second. He didn't quite like where this was going. However, the concept of pleasing their master never seemed to leave the enemy's mind, and it was rather silly how everything seemed to revolve around this intention.

"Hey, you, make some haste already. Even the infamous copy nin needs to take orders from time to time!" someone growled, and Kakashi snorted nonchalantly. Inwardly, he was grumbling to himself, half amused, half frustrated.

He didn't like the thought of Iruka roaming about the hideout on his own, interacting with the enemy on a daily basis with the permanent risk of being found out. On the other hand, the way these shinobi seemed to relish in the image of their lord appreciating their work was rather entertaining.

Kakashi didn't expect this mission to provide much amusement, so he enjoyed the little things he got.

A particularly deep crack in the rock beneath his feet made Kakashi stumble, his breath caught as he fell face first and unable to stop his descend with his hands; they had been bound to his back before. He hit his forehead on a rusty screw protruding from one of barred door of the cells they were passing. A loud cackle from the man who had been guiding him through the underground passage made the copy nin sigh inwardly. These people were all too dull to realize their own hebetation.

Slowly, he got back up on his feet to follow the other man down the corridor. The uncomfortable throb in his left temple made him wince with every step he took; his head didn't like the vibrations his steps were causing. Someone swung a strap of tightly knitted leather against his back almost casually, and Kakashi fixed his eyes on the floor in front of him.

He was in for a lot of pain, and he knew it.

Traces of a dark substance, smeared along the closest wall.

Trickles of water, contaminated with what looked like human excrements, on the far end of the room.

Bare walls, bare floors, bare skin.

Iruka's heart was sinking.

He could hear his own blood rushing through his ears, could feel the anxiety this place caused him, and could smell the foul stench of what might have been bodily fluids, but could be the remains of long passed prisoners as well.

Iruka's stomach had been acting up ever since he had passed the cell blocks, but by now he felt downright nauseous. If he ended up patrolling on his own, he'd take the chance to empty his stomach.

Whatever gods there were, however, had not passed their fortune to Iruka. He'd been trying to take his bearings, choosing his next paths randomly whenever he came across an intersection, but the cave seemed more like an intricate maze than a hideout. When he turned a corner, however, there was a crowd of dark hooded figures all turning their heads towards him when he approached them carefully.

Iruka's heart skipped a beat when two of them stepped up to him to flank his sides and started moving along a hallway to his right. The startled chuunin was about to ask them how they were planning to kill him, when one of them moved up front and opened a door Iruka might have missed, had he not been presented with its passage.

Slowly, he started walking forward, leaving both men behind. Neither of them entered the room with him, instead Iruka heard the door fall shut. He was about to breathe a sigh of relief when his eyes took in the scenario he had been forced into. He was not alone.

The room Iruka had entered was very dimly lit, leaving the corners hidden in the dark. A single stool was set in the middle of the room, three-legged and very brittle looking. However, it was not the stool that was occupied by a second person, but the far wall to Iruka's left. Heavy metal cuffs were inset in the rough stone, enclosing thin wrists that were chafed from the permanent rubbing of those movement-restricting devices.

Bound to heavy chains with her face to the cold stone wall stood a woman, shivering with cold and, if the welts on her back were anything to go by, pain. Dried blood covered apparently deep cuts, half-healed burns and a handful of dark bruises. What had Iruka choking back a sudden wave of fresh nausea, though, was not the condition of her back. Running down her thighs was a trickle of deep red, pooling in a puddle of liquid at her feet.

Resisting the sudden urge to step back and run, Iruka tried to calm his mind and think past the agonizing awareness of what must have happened before his arrival. Whatever had been done to this woman, he must try to help her in any possible way. Maybe he could unfasten the handcuffs and allow her to sit, or even lie down if she wanted to. Or maybe he could find her something to clean her wounds and-….

No, Iruka interrupted himself. It was not like he was in the position to free anyone right now.

Actually, he had no idea what he had been brought here for, but he was not going to take chances.

To check on his surroundings and the woman's actual condition was inevitable. What he was going to find, however, he did not know.

Iruka swallowed heavily before carefully stepping closer.

One of his hands rose to the shivering figure's shoulder before he rethought his actions and drew back his hand until it rested against his hip, nervously playing with a fold in the cape's rough cloth.

The woman would be scared if he touched her without a warning in advance. Slowly, he stepped up to her, carefully avoiding the blood dripping down her legs with his eyes.

"Pardon me" he began, carefully advancing until he could meet the woman's eyes if she were to look at him. She didn't look up at first, pressing as far against the wall as possible, effectively fleeing from his close proximity. The chains around her wrists clashed against the wall with a dull rattle and Iruka had to resist the urge to grab the woman's arm just to stop her from avoiding him.

A grim smile tugged at Iruka's lips as his mind made up a detailed image of Kakashi in the very same position this prisoner was in. He shivered against the inner cold before speaking up again, trying hard to get rid of the gloomy thoughts threatening to flood his mind. He did not know what had happened to Kakashi once he had handed them over to the prison guards, and he was certain he did not want to wrap his mind around his lover's possible condition right now.

"Excuse me, ma'am, are you okay?" He tried to address the captive once again, and this time she turned her head to look at him from hollow green eyes. Iruka was about to smile at her encouragingly, but had not anticipated her reaction towards his presence.

A furious growl escaped the woman's chapped lips, low but threatening, and her eyes widened in what looked like a panic fit; her whole body, naked and shivering, started rocking back and forth against the wall while she tried to pull away from him with all her might.

"You!" she snapped at him, thin fingers forming into fists, and the tremors of her body grew until he could hear her teeth chatter with the vibrations "What do you have in mind today, asking how I am? Is this the next level of your treatment, traitor?" The last word was spat with such ire that Iruka took a quick step back.

He realized too late what he must have been brought in for. The man whose identity he had adopted must have been one of the torturers in this underground prison, responsible for this woman's condition and who knew how many others' deaths.

The nausea came back to Iruka with a force he had not anticipated. Slowly retreating to the center of the room where the captive could not see him anymore, he slowly brought his hands up so he could bury his face in them.

What nightmare had he engaged himself in?

"Have you seen him already? Should be one hell of a guy, if he's as famous as his name."

"Shh, I don't think so. Can't be much of a fighter if he was captured right outside our door. He didn't even fight back when they brought him in."

"True that, but he had the cuffs on. I don't think you'd put up much of a battle with those things on, would ya. Fuck, master said even he couldn't fight that restriction if he was forced into it."

Rough laughter echoed down the hallway.

"Heh. If even master can't force them open, how would he? He's just a Leaf man, after all. No one except us can survive here."

"That's because we're the ones in command who have all the power they get drained of." A gruff cackle.

"Right. It's still so relaxing to hear them scream…"

"Oh yes. I don't think I'll ever sleep without that sound in my inner ear. I love every single night."

The voices ebbed away as their owners patrolled down the passage.

Kakashi turned around slowly to face the metal bars separating his new living area from the hallway. His head was throbbing painfully, making him feel slightly dizzy, but he knew better than to let himself weaken already. It was his life insurance to stay aware of his surroundings, to pay attention to the enemy's activities and not to let down his resistance, no matter how painful the consequences.

Iruka was out there, somewhere, trying to find a way to the center of this base. He had accepted the task of collecting data and getting into contact with as many persons involved as possible. This way he would be able to acquire the knowledge that would be necessary to take this base down, and maybe, possibly, capture Orochimaru once and for all. It would be as big a relief to the Leaf as it would be to the other nations to know one of their long-time foes captured and rendered unable to act anymore.

Theoretically, Kakashi would have liked to enter the base in the same position as Iruka's, disguised as one of the enemy's kind, free to move about the place in the way he wanted. However, it was necessary for them to lure their prey out of its hiding, and as long as they had no idea where Orochimaru was holing up, this was the easiest way to achieve his arrival in the hideout, it was very unlikely for _the master_ to be present at all times.

Kakashi snorted to himself.

It was ridiculous how everyone seemed to idolize the sannin; his word was law and anyone who tried to object must be ready to face his judgment immediately, that much Kakashi had picked up from the patrols' constant chatter. However, it seemed like many of the men responsible for the captives' treatment seemed not to have ever met their lord in person. How could someone be so submissive without even knowing their leader? It was hilarious, to say the very least.

When another person turned the corner next to Kakashi's cell, he was half expecting to see Iruka.

It must have been more than two days since he had been thrown into this cell, and nobody aside from the obligatory rubbernecks and the guards constantly patrolling the area had shown up since.

Time was dragging by, and the light was dim and unnatural, so it was impossible to tell how long exactly he had been down here by now, but Kakashi didn't mind the hours. He slept when he felt like it, sitting upright on the thin mattress the cell provided. Even if his head kept pounding furiously, he didn't intend to lie down anytime soon. It would have been much more comfortable to rest in a horizontal position than to press his head against the chilly stone wall, but it might have made for inadvertency.

Kakashi was painfully aware of the danger he was in; the day before – or had it been today? –, the captive from the closest cell had been carried out to the interrogation area and not returned. It seemed rather obvious he was in for pretty much the same treatment many of this prison's inmates had suffered from already, and he wasn't going to think himself safe when he wasn't.

Hence, he was not really surprised when the newly arrived guard squatted down in front of his cell and leered at him.

"Shall we begin?" The man sneered, presenting a blindfold in his open palm.

Kakashi merely shrugged. He had known all along that he'd be interrogated sooner or later, very likely more persistently than anyone else. He was the copy ninja, after all.

Iruka felt dizzy.

His head was spinning with the force of a merry-go-round, leaving him disoriented and sick to the bone.

His hands, hidden in his pants' pockets, were shaking violently with the aftermath of the past hours.

Slowly, the brunette plodded down one of the dark hallways, eyes fixed on the ground in front of his feet. He couldn't tell what time of day it was, had not seen the sun ever since they had entered the hideout, but he knew for a fact that he had been awake for too long.

As a shinobi, he was used to different sleeping habits and even severe lack of sleep at times, but this was all getting too much. He had not gotten any rest for at least 36 hours straight, he suspected, and the occurrences he had had to face during that period of time had tired him both physically and mentally. He felt like a sponge that had been squeezed with too much force, drained of all energy and will. All he wanted now was to lie down and forget.

Forget what he had seen, forget what he had heard, forget what he had done.

Forget how he felt.

Frigid fingers clenched around his heart, refusing to let it beat with the power it should harbor.

Tired but wary, Iruka stepped around the next corner only to find himself encountered by a person he had met before and had not planned on seeing ever again. The dark eyes seemed to pierce his skull and see right into his head, and Iruka repressed the urge to draw back.

"How is the subject developing?" The words were spoken quietly, but in a very unsettling tone, from below a black scarf.

Iruka fisted his hands into the fabric of his pants while his mind started whirling yet again.

He had been meant to make sure the isubject/i did not survive the latest treatment, however, he had refrained from killing the captive he had been presented with this-… morning?

Iruka knew it was what they expected him to do, what he should be doing if he was the person they thought him to be, but he icouldn't/i find it in him to torture anyone to the point where they broke, to make them scream in agony and enjoy the show. The woman he had met the day before- Iruka felt quite certain 24 hours must have passed since then- was the first person they had wanted him to lay hands on, and he had not done a thing. The sole treatment he had made her go through was to put her under a rather simple genjutsu to make her believe she'd been tortured so that she wouldn't blow his cover later on, and even that had been hard enough for him.

Iruka didn't find pleasure in other people's suffering, whether physical or mental, and he found it disgusting to cause them any of that. So now that he'd have to justify himself to his opponent, he didn't quite know what to say.

_'Hey, sorry but I'm not who you think I am'_?

_'I didn't kill them because I didn't feel like it'_?

Iruka's fingers gripped the fabric of his pockets tighter, knuckles standing out white. He was afraid of having blown their cover before even getting started. At this point, he hadn't learned anything about Orochimaru's hiding spot, and he didn't think Kakashi would be any further in his processing. Still, he didn't want to answer the foreign shinobi's questions truthfully. Iruka wasn't so keen on revealing himself just yet, thank you very much.

Decidedly, he stepped forward, inclining his head slightly to one side as to show his attention. Hands hidden safely in his pockets, he felt like he could accept the challenge and try to answer properly.

It took Iruka a short moment to unravel his thoughts up to the point where he could casually shrug his shoulders and talk about depravity in an even tone.

"The subject was brought back to its cell. Interrogations didn't go as well as they should, so I decided to keep them for another day. More time for them means more fun for me and more screaming for you. I bet you will like what I have prepared for them." he managed to explain with a dry smile on his lips. On the inside, Iruka felt like choking.

This time, he'd ihad/i to hurt the person, without a second option. Guards had been framing the walls, watching him, observing his every step. He'd had to exercise some of the lesser torture practices, and he had shared the man's pain with every inch that his kunai's tip had slowly sliced into. Iruka barely repressed a shudder at the thought.

His opposite, however, seemed satisfied with his answer. Slowly, the man moved to turn around and Iruka nearly breathed a sigh of relief when the cool voice rose once again.

"Follow me."

Iruka's fists dug deeper into his pockets, however, he didn't show his helpless frustration.

Hell, he needed some sleep. Badly.

What did they want from him this time? Another session of 'torture'?

He didn't think he'd be able to avoid the real thing much longer, his permanent attempts to find a way around dealing actual pain to his victims wouldn't go unnoticed forever.

Iruka's heart was plummeting, colliding with his stomach in a painful crash for both of them. He suddenly felt very light-headed, stunned by the madness he had just stumbled into.

Rendered speechless by his own shock, he just stood by the door that had just closed behind him, trying to remember how to breathe.

Kakashi had lost track of his surroundings ever since the guard had blindfolded him, and the complete lack of visual stimuli was rather unsettling to say the least. Gifted with a sharingan that was not originally his, Kakashi had become used to his one-sided blindness. To be unable to see with one eye and to be bound by chakra-restraining handcuffs with his vision taken from him in a foreign room were completely different things.

Kakashi was not the panicky type, he liked to take things easily and analyze them before he tried to make his judgment. In this case, however, his analysis was limited to his evaluation of the things he heard, smelled and felt, and all the sensations he had been able to recognize until now had been alarming.

He'd listened in on the talk of the guards, catching things like 'proper treatment' and 'lovely punishment'. Remarks like the mention of a certain oil to apply to open wounds and a 'special guest' had sent shivers down the jounin's spine, and he had not liked the ring those things had to them at all. The distinctive smell of chlorine that was in the air only added to his feeling of a constantly growing threat.

The low clang that must have been the door swinging shut tingled in Kakashi's overly sensitized ears, leaving him even more disoriented than he had been previously. Feeling rather anxious but unwilling to let it show, Kakashi stood still where he was, acutely aware of where the chains bit into the soft flesh of his wrists.

If he had expected a sudden wave of pain to descend upon him with the closure of the door, he had been wrong. Instead, someone stepped up to him with a quiet gasp, quickly covering his mouth with chilly fingers.

Kakashi's eyes widened under the blindfold. Were they going to suffocate him?

Bullshit, he scolded himself. What use would he be if he were to die here and now?

But why would anyone want to keep him from making sounds by using their fingers? He could easily bite them.

Instead of causing the newcomer a sudden flash of pain, Kakashi decided to wait. He would see what they had in mind for him anyway- not that he could do anything against it, in his weakened state.

A quick tug on the blindfold that drew the cloth from his eyes and down to his neck had Kakashi flinching back in sudden distress. He could have opened his eyes, both of them, because the guards had taken his headband from him, but was left annoyed by the sudden light. Quickly, a second hand was placed over Kakashi's eyes, effectively shielding them from the glaring brightness.

The jounin was confused.

Not only was the awaited pain surprisingly long in coming, but here he stood, being aided by the person he had expected to be his nightmare. Kakashi's mind was spinning wildly until finally a piece fell into place.

The copy nin jerked his head back from the fingers covering his face and cracked the lid of his right eye open. His lips parted in surprise as he took in who he was facing.

"Iruka."

Kakashi's voice was terribly hoarse, and he sounded pained, but aside from dried blood covering one side of his face, he seemed alright. The wound the blood had leaked from, though, seemed to be hidden under his hairline, right above his temple, and Iruka suspected a severe headache.

Barely stifling a sob, the chuunin threw himself against the other man's chest, arms sneaking around his upper body. Carefully, he examined his lover's back with his fingers, searching for injuries and finding none. Except for his head, the jounin seemed to be doing fine.

A low hum above his head made Iruka look up to meet Kakashi's gaze.

For a moment, the chuunin thought he might have to break down right here and now, cling to Kakashi like he never had before and never let go. That wouldn't be right, though.

He was the one responsible for the situation they were in.

He was the one to blame for his lover's pain, and he was the one who was now expected to interrogate this wonderful man.

Slowly, Iruka pulled back from the warmth of Kakashi's body, keeping his eyes fixed on the rough ground. Kakashi was barefoot, he realized. He must be really cold.

"I'm sorry" Iruka whispered, carefully tracing his fingertips over his lover's cheek without looking up.

He felt utterly helpless.

What was he to do, torture his lover? That he would not do. How could he? He had refused to engulf that woman in a world of pain, how was he supposed to act any different with the man he loved?

A small smile tugged on Kakashi's lips as he felt Iruka's body against his, warm and soft, and he let it show. He knew for a fact that Iruka had long learned to read his expression even through the mask, and he didn't doubt the man would be able to interpret the twitching piece of cloth right now.

However, Iruka didn't look up at him.

Kakashi's smile faltered a little when he heard his lover apologize; why would he be sorry in this very moment? They had found each other, after all, and it had taken them long enough indeed!

Kakashi didn't feel sorry to see his lover in the slightest; in fact, he was rather relieved. Lonely hours in a cell of stone and steel had left him with far too much time to think, and he had missed Iruka badly. Experienced as he was, he had not allowed his feelings to get in the way of his mission: to observe and analyze. However, whenever there was nothing to pay attention to, save for his own heartbeat and the blood rushing through his ears, Kakashi's thoughts had drifted to Iruka.

He had wondered what his lover was doing and how he was dealing with his new situation.

The handling part seemed to not be going well, if Iruka's downcast eyes and uptight form were anything to go by.

Kakashi cursed the way his hands were bound to the wall by the heavy cuffs, rendering him unable to move his arms anywhere but up. A low sigh escaped his lips as he leaned forward into the touch of Iruka's fingers on his face.

"Iruka, look at me" he finally requested softly. Tresses of shoulder long brown hair fell in front of Iruka's face like a curtain as he shook his head and backed away, depriving Kakashi of his fingers and breaking the contact. Kakashi's lips twitched impatiently. Something was wrong, he knew it, but he couldn't place a finger on what it could be.

A slight hint of irritation crept into his voice as he raised it once again.

"Iruka, please. I know this is not easy, and I know you're probably still blaming yourself for what happened, but what I know as well is that you can handle this! I just know you can-"

He was interrupted by Iruka's hand being pushed over his mouth once again, roughly this time, and he realized that Iruka was glaring at him furiously from weary brown eyes when he looked up at him.

"Would you stop that?" the chuunin hissed lowly, teeth clenched tightly. "You're too loud; they will hear us! And you know nothing; nothing at all!" A pang of something Kakashi couldn't quite place made him flinch back from the sudden aggression in Iruka's tone. His lover was right: it was essential for them not to act suspicious. And here he was, speaking up loudly and rather personally while it was very likely for the guards to be waiting just outside the door.

The guards… That pushed a thought from the back of Kakashi's mind to the front, glaring at him offensively.

The guards had not entered the room with Iruka. In fact, it seemed like they were not being observed at all, given the way Iruka dared getting as close as he had before. Of course Kakashi had realized the lack of surveillance through the guards before, but he had not bothered interpret the situation for what it was.

Him, bound to a wall by chains, rendered completely defenseless and rather unable to move.

Iruka, sent in for him without any guards or wardens in the same room.

Those facts supported only one conclusion.

"Iruka" Kakashi's voice was barely more than whisper. Suddenly he felt very sick. "You're the one who's going to interrogate me, aren't you? You're the one they sent for my treatment. And you're the one to punish me if I don't tell you what you want to know. Or more precisely… you have to punish _me_ for everything you can't tell_ them_."

Iruka's eyes snapped shut.

There it was, the situation he had not seen coming but was forced to deal with now; the one thing he had always known he could not do.

He had to hurt Kakashi.

Only slowly did Iruka manage to nod his confirmation, carefully avoiding his lover's eyes. He still didn't know how to handle the situation, all he was sure about was that he couldn't get away with casting a genjutsu over his victim this time.

His victim.

Kakashi.

Iruka felt like he was about to throw up.

This could not be happening._ Must_ not be happening.

A small part of him suggested, he just get it over with so he could retreat to his assigned room to sleep and forget the world for a few hours at least. That part was squashed before it could sprout any more similar ideas.

The bigger part of what was Iruka Umino, however, seemed to be breaking apart with the imagination of hurting someone who was precious to him. Even dealing with foreigners, Iruka had trouble inflicting pain on others. Afterwards, he couldn't stand the awareness of what he had done, couldn't deal with the images etched in his mind.

Yet here he was, painfully aware of what he had to do, and desperate to find a way out.

There seemed to be none.

Slowly, Iruka opened his eyes again and saw Kakashi staring at him. The dark grey of his natural eye seemed more troubled than usual. The color of a storm, Kakashi had once admitted, had been his from his day of birth until now, and he quite enjoyed the comparison - storm-colored eyes that could devastate both soul and heart if you looked into them for too long. Iruka had only known one of them, for Kakashi had lost his left eye already when he first got to look him in the face, but he had lost himself in the depth of that stormy grey sea from the very first moment.

Now, however, the color didn't seem appealing to him in the slightest. On the contrary, it upset him more than the mere awareness of what had to happen sometime soon in this room.

Kakashi seemed calm on the outside, but Iruka could see fear lurking underneath his apparent attitude, waiting impatiently to swallow him whole. However, there was something else that seemed to be suppressing the anxious part at the moment, and it was that emotion that drew Iruka back to his lover. Hesitantly, he took a step towards Kakashi again, carefully cupping his cheek with trembling fingers.

There was hope in Kakashi's eyes, and trust, and all of that for Iruka alone.

The chuunin swallowed heavily as he allowed himself to let go of his control for the blink of an eye and sank back against Kakashi's chest, pressing his forehead against the cold body. He felt like crying right now, but he forced himself under control again after a short moment of togetherness with his lover.

What had to be done must be done, and the consequences were inevitable.

Kakashi's lips were pressed into a thin line, his eyes were closed and covered with the piece of cloth again, and he could feel Iruka's presence all around him. Slowly, carefully, he was stripped of the rest of his clothes, and whenever Iruka's fingers touched his bare skin, the sensitive nerve endings started firing in panic. Kakashi was half expecting pain wherever he came in contact with something but his clothing, and when he was all naked save for his mask, the fear started taking over.

It was unnerving to know he was going to get hurt, while it was comforting and soothing to be aware of who would do it at the same time. He was not going to be alone, and he was going to get the minimal amount of pain possible.

All too aware of his surroundings, of the quiet resound of Iruka's steps on the rough floor and his irregular breath, of the smell of excrements and old blood, Kakashi was waiting, wary. He refrained from talking, although it may have eased his own tension, because he did not know what effect it would have on Iruka's concentration.

The chuunin had gone very quiet while tying the blindfold back into place, and Kakashi suspected him to be even more nervous than he was. This was a crucial test for the two of them, and neither of them knew how it would all work out. It was not that Kakashi had never been tortured before; in fact, he had experienced more pain through interrogation procedures than through injuries he had gotten in the field. Still, this was different.

With a lack of brutality, they'd put Iruka's life at risk and leave an opening to be found out through. However, it was still Iruka who was hurting him, and Iruka was not the kind of person who would inflict pain on anybody carelessly. Especially not on him.

When Iruka's fingers came to rest on Kakashi's hips, the jounin shivered lightly. His breath caught in his throat as Iruka's lips met his, silently soothing and reassuring him until he felt almost relaxed.

A sharp pain just below his hip brought Kakashi back to his senses, though, and he gritted his teeth in an attempt to stay still. Iruka's lips were against his again, claiming his mouth in a desperate kiss while the pain wrapped around to his inner thigh, caused by something cutting through the sensitive flesh until it reached the back of his knee. There it dug deeper, metal ground on bone while Kakashi tried to concentrate on kissing Iruka back with all of his might.

He only realized he'd been going too far when he tasted the coppery tang of blood that was not his.

However, his attempt of apologizing was forcefully stopped by the object that had been forced along his leg being removed, which left the copy nin swallowing against a wave of nausea. Something warm trickled down his calf, running along his ankle and the arch of his foot until it dropped from his toes and onto the ground with a low, splashing sound. Iruka's right arm was curled around Kakashi's waist, holding him tightly, while the chuunin's head rested against his lover's neck. His fingers were trembling as he lightly touched the injured thigh, Kakashi noticed, and the jounin swallowed against the impending sickness while keeping the pressure off his left leg to avoid any additional pain.

"I'll make sure you'll be okay in the end" came a muffled voice from below his chin, and Kakashi leaned down to press his face against Iruka's hair. He sounded an awful lot like he was forcefully holding back tears, but he seemed to manage.

Kakashi's heart was pounding heavily against his ribs; his leg hurt from hip to knee, and he wasn't too sure if that could have been it. Surely someone would become suspicious as to why the copy nin, of all captives, was being spared. If he received special treatment at all, then only to try and break him.

A light shiver ran through the jounin's frame. He was horribly cold, the pain draining both his energy and his blood. Last but not least, he was still naked, his mask the only piece of fabric on his skin.

Nevertheless, Kakashi was not afraid anymore. The pain was something he could deal with in larger quantities, if necessary. What had shown clearly through the past moments of suffering for them both was that Iruka never left his side, not only to cause him pain, but to support and comfort him in this tormenting situation. And Kakashi did not doubt that his lover would keep soothing the pain all the while he was inflicting it upon him up to the point where the torture didn't matter because they could stand it as long as they were together.

Iruka's hands were trembling when the blade of his kunai drew blood as soon as it pierced the sensitive skin of Kakashi's neck, but he forced himself to proceed dragging it forward, along his lover's collarbone and through the small of his throat before he applied the salve from his fingers onto the skin. Treating the wounds he was causing seemed like the only thing he could do for Kakashi after inflicting so much pain on him, and he did it thoroughly. Slowly, he let the tip of his index finger wander along the deep cuts and winced whenever Kakashi flinched back from his touch.

He knew he was hurting the man by meeting the open wounds with his fingers, but he couldn't resist the overwhelming urge to keep contact, to apply some sort of tender touch to the injuries, no matter how small. Kakashi didn't stop him.

In fact, it seemed like the jounin had given into his treatment to wait patiently until it was all over, not caring what exactly was done to him.

Iruka was okay with that.

His stomach still felt like it was going to burst, and his heart was a dark hole deep inside his upper body, but he couldn't feel it anymore. At first there had been pain, so much pain to bear, but it had slowly faded. Now there was nothing but emptiness and the feeling of something getting lost inside him, and with every cut he inflicted on Kakashi's soft skin, that sensation seemed to grow.

Iruka didn't quite know how to place it, but he was sure that soon, there would be something missing completely.

Carefully, he wiped the kunai clean on his pants, smearing the fabric with the same blood that covered his fingers. He could still taste his own blood on his lip, where Kakashi had released the pressure he'd been holding and bit through his flesh, but there was no pain to it anymore.

All Iruka wanted was to get this over with, to provide Kakashi with enough salve to keep his wounds from becoming infected and then go and run from this madness until he had found his lodging again, no matter how pathetic, to crawl away into and not be found for at least a week.

"Hey, you. You dead already? Man, what a waste."

The slurred words mumbled through the iron bars were ignored; the food, placed by the door, left untouched.

Kakashi couldn't bring himself to care about the guard's comments.

He'd been interrogated twice that day, once by Iruka and once by a woman yet unknown to him.

Iruka had, of course, not bothered to interview him at all. Putting up questions that went without a reply was just as useless as reacting to the guards' constant taunts. It wasn't like Iruka would have told the enemy a thing about Kakashi, no matter what answers he gave.

Unyielding arms held the jounin while Iruka kept applying substances to his skin that made him want to scream in agony for the burning sensations they caused, sliced his skin open in different places and burnt the soles of his feet with blazing hot wax. Kakashi never once made a sound. He just let himself be held, limply clinging to Iruka, and they did not speak anymore.

Iruka was quiet and composed, and his presence seemed reassuring and soothing to Kakashi who had nothing else to hold on to.

The bed was hard, but strangely comforting, covering him in its rough blankets and shielding him against possible looks. Not that anyone would have entered the room, anyway.

Wearily, Iruka wrapped himself in the quilt and closed his eyes.

Over the past week, Iruka had never bothered to ask who the person had been whose identity he was now using, but he must have been quite privileged. Sharing his room with no one but the obligatory roaches was rather rare in the mall, as they called it playfully. Also, nobody ever asked where he was going or what he was doing, as long as he treated the prisoners with proper_ respect_ and _care_ and delivered them back to the guards. Respect and care were the keywords for violence and haughtiness in the mall, and everyone stuck to them.

It was rather funny how they were teasing one another, actually.

'Hey, got a little respect for this guy?' This was the comment Iruka usually got greeted with whenever someone delivered him someone to play with.

He did as he was expected to, never too polite, never too brash.

People ignored or saluted him, carefully avoiding his personal space.

Even the food was okay, as long as he didn't think about where it might have come from.

Only one thing he was missing, and Iruka was rather intent on getting it back.

Whoever had taken his favorite lash would be in for a lot of trouble once he got back up.

Kakashi's nights were sleepless, his days dragging on like weeks. Possibly, they were weeks indeed.

He couldn't tell.

The cuts from his first_ interrogation_ with Iruka were half healed, reopened and healed again, and he had not yet lost count of how often he had been brought out to the underground chamber where he got to see Iruka. It had been 12 times.

Some days ago, Kakashi had started counting the frequency with which the men mentioned their master, which was, actually, even more common than he had initially thought.

They talked about him like a savior, admired him in his glorious existence, and hoped for his arrival.  
>1751 times they had mentioned him throughout the past days, and Kakashi didn't think he wanted to know what number he'd be at when he finally got out of here. iIfi he got out of here. No matter how often the master was the number one topic in the guards' conversations, he never showed up in person. It was getting pretty frustrating, to say the least.

Kakashi had lost track, however, of when exactly Iruka had started slipping away from him.

He had thought it to be his imagination at first, his mind playing games with his tired body, but that impression had quickly been overthrown when he had first watched Iruka taking care of a young girl's treatment, as the guards put it. They were rather amused by the child's agonized screeches, even more so when Kakashi had demanded reasoning as to why they considered it necessary to chop the girl's ears off. He had been originally brought in for his interrogation session, but had been held back by the guards who told him to wait in line.

Kakashi had been mortified to realize how indifferent Iruka seemed, unfazed by the child's cries and her begging, shoving her shaking frame into the arms of a guard who deliberately let her fall, face first, to the ground. He didn't seem to mind the amount of violence, didn't seem to care for her misery. He was the one in command, and apparently he was quite alright with that position.

When Kakashi had stepped up to him, scanning his face for emotions of any kind but finding none, he had gone very cold inside. That was not the Iruka he had gotten to know and, last but not least, to love. This was a different man with a different attitude, who had a different feeling about him altogether.

His distinctive warmth was gone, not from his body but from his heart, and the chuunin seemed impervious to any kind of emotion. Iruka the academy teacher, who he loved and adored like no other, seemed gone from this man's presence entirely.

That sensation couldn't be helped by the arms encircling Kakashi's middle during their next interrogation, and he ended up feeling threatened rather than protected.

It was quiet in the cell block when the new guards took over for the night shift.

Their laughter and the reek of their unwashed bodies woke Kakashi from his restless sleep, and he sat up a little straighter to relieve his lower back from the pressure he had been building by slumping to the ground. A flaring pain shot up his spine from where Iruka had burned him this morning.

Kakashi's eye narrowed while he brought a hand up to his face to play with a strand of now dirty grey hair.

Iruka.

He had seen the man for their shared torture sessions only, for several days straight at least, and it was giving him a hard fight. This mission hadn't gone as it was supposed to and they were still in here, left without a sign from the outside as to whether or not anyone knew about their whereabouts by now. It could all have been so easy, but they messed up.

And in fact, Kakashi mused, it hadn't been Iruka's fault alone for sending that unfortunate rock flying across the edge of the hill. They had all been too careless, feeling too safe and superior in that foreign terrain. If he were to go on the same mission again, he'd do many things differently.

Not that he had a choice, Kakashi thought bitterly. It had all gone awry since they entered the bear's den and found the hidden gateway that lead to the hideout. Asato was dead, Iruka was going insane, and he, as the former team leader, was held prisoner in a cell he had practically transported himself into. A great shinobi he was, indeed.

What drew Kakashi from his grim musings, however, was a voice he had not expected to hear in that environment or situation.

"Kakashi?"

Iruka's voice was very small, albeit half bored.

The chuunin peered through the iron bars surrounding the prisoner's cell with a vague feeling of discomfort. He knew he shouldn't be here, knew he'd be in for a bunch of questions if someone spied him in contact with one of the prison's inmates, no matter which one. It had taken him a handful of arguments to convince the guards of the necessity of this visit; that he had to check on the prisoners' behavior every now and then so they wouldn't forget their manners and the consequences in case of their malfunctions.

However, he felt like doing this right now, although he couldn't quite place where this desire had come from.

Carefully, Iruka knelt in front of the cell, knees resting on the edge of the metal bars, and tried to spot the prisoner's form at the back of the room.

At first, there was no reaction but a sharp intake of air. The captive didn't move, a single dark eye penetrating the darkness where nothing else was to be seen.

Iruka snorted quietly. Idiotic jerk.

"Come on, I'm not up for silly games."

Kakashi's heart was pounding against his ribs like mad, his chest aching with the weight it was nearly being crushed under. Slowly, he raised a hand to wave the visitor off, but was interrupted by Iruka's clearly spoken words.

Silly games? _He _was playing _silly games_?

A low chuckle slid through the jounin's lips, and he licked them tentatively. He was nervous.

What was Iruka here for?

The man had not visited him once before; their only encounters were the ones that left Kakashi bleeding. It was almost hilarious, really, how Iruka squatted in front of the cell now, apparently intent on talking to him but so different from his usual self that he didn't manage to find a start.

Kakashi shook his head slowly. He didn't know what to think anymore, didn't know what they were doing in here.

Slowly, he got to his feet, ignoring the sharp pain rushing up his back as soon as he started moving, and crossed the cell in a few quick steps. When he came up face to face with Iruka, the brunette's head lifted to look up at him. He didn't make a move to open the door or come in to meet him.

Kakashi's hand came up to his face to rub his forehead while he carefully knelt down, only half straining his right leg. The inner thigh was still raw and sensitive, the back of his knee open again after another deep cut and spicy oil being poured in. Iruka watched him intently.

It was only now that Kakashi realized how thin he had become, lean muscle stretching over bone. Iruka's usual strong build was barely visible anymore. A bitter voice at the back of his mind started nagging on Kakashi's conscience.

'Why didn't you notice that before?' It scolded him. 'Wasn't it obvious before?'

It probably was, Kakashi tried to reason with himself, but he'd had other things on his mind.

'Why would you not notice your one and only love losing so much weight? How busy can you be with your own issues so you don't pay attention to him anymore?'

Kakashi's eye closed shortly.

He'd been absorbed by his worries about the mission's outcome, by pain and misery, and all he could think about when Iruka was on his mind was the man's inner change. He hadn't paid enough attention to the obvious things, it seemed.

A moment of silence passed between the two, while they merely looked at each other, trading wary glances. It was Iruka who finally spoke. His expression was still unreadable, his eyes alert but weary.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I'm getting up in the morning and I'm going to sleep at night, but the day in-between seems… is… disturbing." he finally admitted, voice shaking ever so slightly. He didn't even seem so sure about his choice of words. "I don't know what I'm supposed to be, but it all feels so _wrong_."

Kakashi's eye widened slightly, but he kept still. Iruka swallowed visibly before averting his gaze and shrugging his shoulders helplessly.

Kakashi swallowed heavily. His chuunin seemed so small in the wide hallway, so pale albeit his tanned skin color, so lonely and so lost. Had he misjudged him?

"Hold on, Iruka. I won't pretend to know what you're going through, but I'm sure you can handle this. Just hang in there for a little longer. Please."

Kakashi's fingers crept up through the iron bars to reach for Iruka's face automatically; however, he stopped himself before he might cross a line Iruka had drawn around himself. With an effort, he managed to restrain himself and sit there silently.

His eye kept searching Iruka's face for a sign of longing, a clue to his feelings, anything. And finally, after what seemed like hours to the jounin, the other man's expression fell. His indifferent attitude vanished into thin air along with his apparently pent up breath, and he dropped his forehead against the iron bars, gasping for air as if he hadn't breathed in a long time. A tanned hand reached through the metal grates and grasped Kakashi's fingers tightly, pulling them up and through the bars until they touched the other's cheek.

Kakashi was tempted to stroke the skin, unshaven but still soft, but resisted the urge for the sake of Iruka's possibly fragile condition. He could feel Iruka's breath ghost across his fingers, and it was as warm as he remembered it. It was incredibly soothing to be in contact with his love for the first time after such a long time with the knowledge that he was in for a great deal more pain.

Silently, he watched Iruka play with his index finger, feeling the pinky he had broken three times during the last week, and resisted the urge to pull back his hand after he had seen Iruka's expression change into a very pained one when he flinched from his touch. It hurt to have Iruka palpate the injured parts of his body, but it hurt even more to see him be hurt as well in the process. That was the one thing Kakashi could not stand very well.

It took Iruka a few more minutes until he looked up to meet Kakashi's patient gaze, and Kakashi was surprised to see a single tear trickle down his cheek. Slowly, he pushed his second hand through the iron bars to cup Iruka's face with his fingers and wipe the tear away. What he had not anticipated, however, was that once the tear was gone, another one followed, and then a third one and a fourth one.

Iruka's expression didn't change; he seemed completely stunned by his own reaction.

Kakashi suddenly felt a lump rise in his throat. How much of himself had Iruka lost in this contorted labyrinth, and how much did he even remember?

The jounin's chest felt like it was going to burst as he moved his hand from Iruka's cheek to the man's mouth, gently brushing across the lower lip that was trembling by now. He felt unable to speak, but there was something he needed to know.

Slowly, he moved to sit by the iron grates as closely as was physically possible and pressed his face up to the metal. He couldn't keep the pain from his voice when he spoke again, his heart hurting too much to feel much aside from that any longer. He felt like his life might depend on Iruka's reply, and that scared him more than almost anything.

"Iruka, I need you to tell me something.." he started, his voice cracking ever so slightly. Iruka's eyes were fixed on his face between the iron bars, and the brunette clung to his hand like he was never going to let go again. ".. is it still… _you_ in there?"

Iruka's eyes widened visibly as he considered that thought, and he actually seemed confused at first. Only several minutes later did he squeeze Kakashi's hand tightly between his fingers, averting his look to his own lap. Kakashi watched him, pained by the obvious puzzlement on Iruka's features.

The answer was clear even before Iruka began to speak it out loud.

"I… don't know."

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**A/N**: Thanks for the read; I hope you're not too scared now! Seems like this came out super angsty; and I don't think everyone can deal with that. As long as I got nobody crying, that will be fine!  
>Reviews are love, btw! :3<p> 


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